Celibacy....

I really didn't think it would be this hard literally. Normally I have a daily regiment that keep my sexual drive in control, but because of this all out celibacy, a girl gives me a hug, I'm gunna pull a semi-chub. I wake up and salute for an hour and can't do anything about it. I dreamt about going to a restaurant with a friend and the waitress was quite insistent about giving me a handjob and than for me to take her right there.

I'm on what? 3 days? Its making my mind go mad. And it would figure that I managed to get this really hot asian chick to start going out with me, but I can't even do anything really, for the whole month.... oh blue ball here I cum.

Attempting Celibacy

Women are fantastic. I know if I put my mind to it I can get a woman. The thing I really have never tried is being celibate. I know there is such thing called the 7 day challenge, where an individual cannot engage in an form of sexual activities, including sex, masturbation, or any form. I think I have done this challenge before while on the road, but I was thinking I can do this for 30 days.

So completely legit. I shall do my best to do 30 days of celibacy. I will post everyday during this month, and if I do fail you all, I will explain in detail on why it happened. Don't worry I won't let myself succum to my hand or anything like that, only way I will fail this is if I am approached with a offer I cannot refuse.

I hope you all wish me luck with this expedition of mine, and I hope by the end of this I can conquer desire, and sexual longing.

Duke Talks - Wealth VS Status

Ignoring the whole dance around of women saying it’s what’s inside that counts, or that it’s the connection between one another that cannot be described with word. No, it can be boiled down to one of two things. Wealth or Status. Now wealth is rather straight forward, it’s your money, how much you are actually worth, but status on the other hand can’t just be distilled into what you do for a living, what country club you are a part of, or even what class you are in. It’s all about the image of status. A guy that drives up in an Audi R8 may really not have the wealth or the job to support the car. Better yet, maybe the car is just leased, or even borrowed from a friend of his fathers. It’s the image the girl gets when she sees him drive up in the R8 that sticks in her brain. For first impressions the image of status is everything, but later in the dating process, image tends to need some back up.

When meeting a girl at the club it’s easy to act like you have the wealth and status that the girl is looking for, but there comes a problem once you have won her over enough to at least leave the club with you. Yes you can keep the image of your status up by instead of bringing her back to your place you bring her to a fancy hotel (that is if you some how did not convince her that going to her place would be better). At this point the two tend to cross over. You can still lie about your status in the world, as long as you have the money to back it up. With wealth you can pay your way into making those around you think you are important, like those whom have money tend to do. But with status you don’t need the money, take the founder of Napster, they guy went broke after Napster fell, but he could go into a club with not a dime, flash his name around and get some.

I know this entry has become a bit of a ramble-a-thon, but what I want you to learn from this is, that you can fake it from the start to get with a girl, but if you either really have to be smart or just have the money to back it up. All and all I believe wealth will always win this battle, though you will have a hard time differentiating the difference between those you like you for you, or those who like you for your bank account, it’s clear that money is what makes the world go round.

Random Entries: Mornings

 Normally a morning can be a great thing, it’s the beginning of the day, where anything can happen, but then again if your brother came home to visit, stayed up until 3 hours before you had to get to work, that morning can be just a bad experience. The smell of freshly brewed coffee filled the room and the heart attack of an alarm clock shocked my ears, I sprang from my bed in a sleep drunken phase. My cat was calling me for food as he normally did, and so I went to get him what he wanted. You know when you put your hand on the wall when you lean over so that you don’t fall. Well I attempted such a feet, where as my hand slipped from its position on the wall and broke through the laundry basket in my bathroom, the food I was giving my cat flew to cover as much ground as it could, and I face planted right into the side of my now broken laundry basket. Mornings are great when you wake up unconscious enough to face plant into a piece of furniture, brush yourself off and continue on with your already going well morning.

The Thinker

Everyone in this world has been single at one time or another, and for most of us it can be hard at times bridging the gap between being single and entering the dating world once more. The greatest thing that separates us from being single and dating someone is thinking instead of doing. There are truly only three stages of your relationship status, single, dating, married. When one is single, you can’t sit around thinking. I am currently single and I have thought millions of times on what I should do, should I go and talk to that girl? What would I say? What if she rejects me? What if she has a boyfriend? What if she is actually a he? Sitting there thinking got me nowhere, the only time I began to date as a thinker was when the girl made the first move, and trust me that doesn’t happen often (usually once a year for me). When one is single, you must only do one thing, and that is DO! Do Veronica, Ashlee, Michelle, and even do Elizabeth. I know I am coming off as a pig, but my point is if you don’t go do something (breaking the ice with a girl) you won’t get anything. After all the player that doesn’t take the shot, never scores. Thinking is for being in a marriage, when you have kids, then you can think, like was this the right choice, should I send my kids to private school, all the fun things…..

The girl at the coffee shop

Alright, this is more of a discussional piece. If you are sitting in a café, and make eye contact with a girl you think you fancy, do you approach her?  What do you say? Well chances are if she is alone she is either waiting for someone, or has major anti-social tendencies, or is studying and doesn’t want to be bothered. If we break down each situation to basic facts, we will be able to determine whether or not to approach.

Situation 1, she is waiting for someone. This “someone” could be anyone from a date, to a family member, to a friend. If she looks impatient don’t approach. This usually means that this impatience is due to the fact that the lateness of who she is meeting is definitely unintended. If it were a friend, chance are she would have got a message from them, or would be used to this person being late. Same principle could be applied if it were a family member. The fact she is outwardly portraying this impatience it means that either it’s important to her that this person was there, or that it is a date. Therefore impatience is a bad thing. Plus if you notice she comes in, sits down, without a drink and waits, it means she is waiting for someone. If she gets a drink after sitting alone for some time, it means this person is late, you could always use the opportunity to approach her, once you have defined the fact she is not going to wait for that person to get her drink.

Situation 2, if she does have major anti-social tendencies it becomes a attempt at your own risk. She’ll either like you or not. Once you approach it becomes her move, and you can just hope for the best.

Situation 3, if she’s studying/working find a good reason to bug her. It can be a dumb, but good reason. For example, does she mind sharing the outlet she is using for her laptop, you get the picture right? It will be up to you entirely to get the conversational ball rolling, because she could really careless to talk to you on the fact she’s busy, but if you can get the ball rolling your pretty much in the clear.

Duke Talks - Why The “Hot Chick” Is A Necessity

Most of the male population has had that female in their lives that they would give almost everything they had to be with her. Some lucky few get that girl in their bed, so even get them to be wed, but most of us are never with that “Hot Chick”. Most of us do many things that degrade their dignity just to get her attention. Some get buff, some get rich, some even have emotional break downs due to the small ration of work to attention that she gives to us. So why do we not just block ourselves from everything that the “Hot Chick” is? Because we need her.

For one, she sets the bar for us. She is what we reach for, and this will help prevent us from settling for anything below what we think we can achieve. This also helps with environmental hotness, when working in a workplace with few females around your age; you may think the best of them are good looking, when in fact she may just be average. The “Hot Chick” in your life will allow you to realize that this girl really isn’t what her environment makes her look to be. Two, she keeps us wanting to be the best that we can be in all parts of our lives. This means, we want to succeed in our job, be the smartest we can, and be physically fit all at the same time. Three, if she ever decides to cut you off a slice; this will give you the envy of your peers, and will give you a massive confidence boost. Since most women are just looking for a confident male, it will actually increase you success rate with the opposite sex. Four, being “friends” with her can be a massive tool with other women. You can use her to make other girls jealous, or give an illusion that you have something that makes you better than the other guys since she is with you. And if you just got out of a relationship, be seen with her so that even if some how the break up did not go in your favor, it will make your ex think you are fine without her, and may even make her crawl back to you.

There are many other reasons why the “Hot Chick” is a necessity, but I hope these examples will keep you from doubting your interactions with her. Enjoy guys, because it’s all downhill from here, especially for her.

Subject Zero. Code Name: Eraser. Heart Breaker. Part 1.

Everyone probably has a story similar to this one, but you could say I fell in love once. This idea of love since then has seemed not of my interest because of Eraser. See I did the tragic mistake, fall in love with a very close friend. What makes it even worse is finding out I had a chance with her, and I left it slip me by. Our friendship lasted 5 years to this point, and yes for most of that time I was in love with her. It just seemed every time I got the courage up to do something about my feelings she had a new boyfriend. A fatal mistake, allowing the friend zoning to happen.

Supposedly she had no idea up until I straight up ended the friendship and explained how I felt. Well I gave the friendship a summer after telling her, but again she had a boyfriend at the time. I went to her one night near the end of summer to tell her it was over, and I didn’t want to see her again. It took a lot for me to do it, but I couldn’t stand being around her but not being with her. The worst thing about it, and what I have ironically turned my views into, was that she didn’t understand the big thing about being in a relationship. She felt I meant more to her than any of her boyfriends. She honestly believed that all a relationship was, was having someone you could fool around with. Ironically now that is all I look to most of my own relationships. I actually found it funny talking to her that night, because she said I was one of the few people who actually knew her, and how she couldn’t understand me being about to like her knowing all that. I don’t really regret anything that happened though, because looking at how she viewed relationships, I knew I could never have a genuine relationship with her and it was better that we just stopped talking. She could have even offered to dump her boyfriend and try it out with me, but after 5 years, I was done. Some of you will say that it was a stupid idea, but I had to make a decision. Besides I honestly believe now that if you have any form of attraction to a girl you can’t be just friends with her. I could keep going on about Eraser, but you all get the just of it…. For now.

*Pointer* Be able to take the consequences associated with your actions. I once fooled around with an ex’s best friend no less than a month after breaking up with her, and I had to deal with the shit storm that followed. So if you cheat on the person you’re in a relationship with (something I am extremely against, yes I will fool around with an ex’s best friend but will never cheat on a girlfriend), or something along the same lines, take responsibility. Being drunk is not an excuse either, because as a wise friend told me, a drunken man’s actions are just a sober man’s thoughts.

Subject 3. Code Name: Russia. Nice guy experiment.

I honestly don’t think I have ever failed like I did with this girl. Oh Russia… I’ll admit this was a rather piggish thing for me to do, but it back fired just as bad. See there was this girl, who some might say was not as quality as the usual females I associate myself with. Ok here’s the deal, I had a friend who was currently dating this girl, and she had a best friend who was single at the time. Originally I didn’t think much of it, but when my friend and I had a conversation on what sort of guy this girl would go for, I believed she was in need of a nice guy, who would treat her like a queen, and he figured she was like most women who love the assholes.

Well my nature of being kind of a dick slightly disabled my ability to treat her like a queen, but I was much nicer to her than I would be to other people.  After consulting her best friend on the idea of my “nice guy experiment” she agreed to help (mainly because she thought I was actually a nice guy, who liked her best friend, and that I was saying all this as a front for “feelings” I had for her friend). She actually reassured me that her best friend liked me, making this experiment even easier than originally planned.

Things were going quite smooth for the first while. We were in the same program in University so I saw her frequently. I knew that if I wanted to “close this case” I would be in need of going on a date with her. Unfortunately arranging a date with a girl who is constantly busy with work, ect, is just hard to do (and yes she was legitimately busy, I checked). Things seem to be going good with my experiment; she and I had agreed to go out for a coffee during the Christmas break. My mistake was being a dick, I ended up never setting a specific time, and it ended up never happening. The break finished, and for a reason that I can’t quite understand, I continued to being a dick, for the next time I saw her, she said hi, and I acted as if she wasn’t there. Don’t ask me what I was doing, I have no idea. Her best friend gave me an ear full about being mean to Russia, and how I needed to apologize (this only solidified the idea that she like me in my opinion). I did end up apologizing to her, and asked if I could make it up to her. Russia expressed it wasn’t necessary, but I still felt this was the perfect opportunity for me to finally bring this girl out, so I insisted to bringing her out to coffee, and she was persistent. I then changed my plan and asked if I could bring her out to a movie “to get to know her better” (save the ridicule for another time…). She ended up not giving me an answer, and then afterward “thought the grapevine” found that she could not stand me. I confronted her best friend about it, and she told me she had no idea that the girl hated me, and that she honestly thought that Russia liked me, and that was the end of the experiment.

 There is a lot you can take away from this case. For one, though I am not sure if she did actually like me at one point or not, the moment a girl consistently refuses to go out with you, end it and go on to the next one. If a female is into you, she may play some “hard to get” but will fold rather easily. And when she folds, take the opportunity, don’t let it slip because most likely she won’t give you another chance, no matter how average her appearance is. So moral of this one, a girl’s best friend is not always the best resource when trying to get a girl, and when a girl play hard to get, don’t bother wasting you time, for that time could be spent finding someone worthwhile.

* POINTER * Here’s a small recommendation when it comes to talking about females. Always come up with code names for these girls, because honestly it keeps the conversation between the two of you, and even if someone is trying to listen in, they will get extremely confused. Use such names like, Eskimo, D, Bald Eagle. Make it applicable to the girl so that it’s easy to remember.

Duke Talks - Being the Non-Sinlge Guy out

A perfect way to get out of a friendship with all your friends is simple. Get a girlfriend. I know this is not always the situation, but especially when you get older, being in a relationship becomes a hindrance on your mates. That, or your friends a hindrance on your relationship.

Here’s the deal. Your relationship is in the chase stage. Meaning you are pursuing her like there is no tomorrow. Taking every opportunity you can to spend with her. This is the first stage of you losing your bond with your mates. The average male in the chase stage finds that being around this female is an all consuming thought. You sleep thinking about her; you awake to think about her. You are virtually at her peck and call. Most likely she will have a date scheduled, and your mates will want you to hang out, creating a conflict. Except for those who normally put their relationships first most of us will be able to divide it more or less evenly, but this still means less time with your friends since before her, there was no division necessary.

Once past the chase stage and into the “honeymoon” stage of the relationship, she will all but take over your life. Now unless you find the “perfect girl” who will seamlessly integrate socially with your single friends you will find spending time with your friends comes second in all ways. The only thing you can do in this situation and be sure to keep those lines of contact with your mates alive. After all many of the social outings you could normally have with your friends you probably won’t be viable. The “honeymoon” stage is usually considered the best but you must not forget that it doesn’t last forever.

Which brings me to the critical point (or as I like to call it the “breaking point”) of the relationship. After the “honeymoon” stage, there is a grace period where things almost seem to get normal. You begin to spend your normal time with her. This means you’re usually living with her and see her on the non-event basis. You spend the nights together and you can go hang with the guys during the days. This can lead to many relationship breaking situations.

Most situations deal with the obvious counter between your life and that of your friends’. You see your friends bringing home different women, answering to no one, doing whatever they want. If you and your girl are beginning to fight more frequently you may begin to feel you can get better. Also the concept of maintaining your independence comes into play. This is especially valid when you live with the girl. You may begin to feel suffocated which will lead to ending the relationship to get back your freedom. Also the pressure to do something you don’t want to, again dealing with your “freedom”, is a factor; the biggest of these is the pressure of marriage. To many of us men, marriage is the jail sentence. So unless we feel this will be the best jail we can ever get, we will normally leave the relationship. There is also the dilemma of time division. Though now you live with your girl, she may feel that you don’t spend the time with her anymore. Which is valid and not. You most likely spend just as much time with her or more, but that time is not spent going out or anything. She may be reading a book while you play video games. This is where the common interests in a relationship really take hold. For if you can share in the everyday things that you love to do, you can keep the relationship going forever. But she may begin to feel you are spending too much time with your friend and not enough with her, unfortunately this usually makes you have to choose between her and your friends.

To get to my final point, of why being the odd man out hurts so much. Women feel that doing “couples things” is a great way to spend the time together. So when your friends are mostly single, a lot of your free time isn’t spent with them. While they are at the club picking up chicks, you’re at a dinner with John and Jane Doe talking about house troubles. Couples dates will always take priority with your girl, so you either have to get your single friends to settle down with someone, so you can all hang, or those friendships will wither away and die.

Subject 2. Code Name: Bloody Valentine. A coffee and hamburger.

So Bloody Valentine was the first girl I was with after Suka. B.V. was employed at the same location as I was employed (not same employer though). It was summer, and I was extremely confident in myself. I had recent bought my first motorcycle (which later that summer I crashed and was hospitalized) and basically felt like a chick magnet. I may have been a little cocky, but it actually worked to my advantage. I met B.V. getting lunch; as a matter of fact she was serving it.

Let’s get into how I really went about getting her. Being a nice guy isn’t always a bad thing, just don’t overdo it. Just making conversation is a simple way to get your foot in the door. Make sure that you stay forward. As in stay in a position that keeps you in her mind for a potential ‘mate’. I would chill with her after my shift, when her store was empty or when she was waiting for a ride. I ended up actually asking for her number in the cheesiest way. She was finishing up her shift, and I asked if she had a pen I could borrow, she gave me one, then I asked for a piece of paper, and she gave me some receipt paper, then I gave her both the pen and paper, and asked if she could give me her number. I know it was bad, but she found it cute and it worked. After you have got past the ice breaking stage, and she is comfortable around you, take it to the next stage. Don’t wait too long to ask her out, if you do you might lose your shot. Unfortunately I can’t remember the specifics on how many times she came over, but basically if a girl is willing to go to your place to watch a movie, or just chill 1 on 1 then you’re in. That is unless you are friend-zoned. I’ll go about friend-zoning in a separate post, but if she says you’re like a brother you’re not getting any. Since I knew she was into music, the first time she came over (I think it was the first time), I taught her a little bit of guitar, and then her and I had some fun on my piano. The fact that I actually noted stuff in my head when she would talk gave me an advantage when she finally came over. All in all I got what I needed. Again hate me but I’ll go about what to do once she’s already back at your place in another post.

Problem was I didn’t even give her a chance to start a relationship. I was not willing to do it, but I never really broke it off. I kept having lunch with her, because having lunch alone would suck. Afterwards though (about 3 weeks later) she did end up calling my and having a long talk about how she had feelings for me, and what the hell happened. Lesson learned, be straight up with a chick when you’re not feeling her, I was lucky enough to be done that job when I got the call though. It could have got ugly if I was still employed there.

*Pointer* If you choose to partake in a sex position of which requires you standing either make sure that you remove your socks, or stand on a high friction surface such as carpet. If not, well you can imagine, you’ll slide around a bit.

Subject 1. Code Name: Suka (Russian for Bitch). First Come, First Serve.

Suka… she was a short one. Her and I met through a friend, who consequently I was actually at the time trying to get with. See Diamond (remember, I use Diamond in place of saying her best friend) had invited me to one of her other friends birthday parties. Suka came with Diamond where as I met them there later. The party wasn’t much of a party as a matter of fact so Diamond, Suka and I left. I thought Suka was a bitch when I met her, and she thought I was gay, well as least that’s what she told me, so as you can tell we hit it off right away. The three of us spend the night roaming around getting drunk.

Some time passes and I get the idea to invite the two of them over for a movie, and at this point I wasn’t really sure with what my plan was. This night actually ended up being the beginning of the foundation to one of my more often approaches when dealing with a female at my pad. See the trick is to give her the best spot on the couch (I had a daybed at this time) when the movie starts. As the movie is beginning, playfully say how that is your spot. I have not found a single female yet to give me back my spot after saying that. Then you can easily break the ‘touch barrier’ by a little push, tickle, or sitting on her, whatever feels natural. Usually a compromise over the spot is found by either the two of you closely sharing the spot, or her sitting on your lap, as was the case with Suka and I. Once she was on my lap it was all about subtle advances, putting my head on her shoulder so I could better see the movie, ‘accidentally’ putting my hand on her hand. Nothing to significant happened the first time they came over to watch a movie, but by the second time Diamond and Suka came over, Suka and I weren’t watching the movie. Before I knew it we were dating.
  

I dated Suka when I was fairly new to the game, better known as dating. The biggest issue, besides her height, was the fact that I didn’t try very hard in her pursuit before her and I began to hook up. See, this greatly helped my confidence, which aided me with subject two, but gave me very little experience in the art of picking up women. Our “relationship” was purely physical; she would have a break between classes and come over, she would have lunch and come over, she’d be done school for the day and come over, the basis of our relationship basically. The only reason why it became a ‘relationship’ was because after a week of fooling around she posed the question, “What are we?” before I could answer I was in a relationship. Evidently, since I didn’t want my mid-day visits to come to an end, I agreed and proceeded with these meet-ups for 30 days.

30 days. That’s as long as I will date a girl.  If there are any women reading this, hear me out, I’m the kind of guy who will give it a chance. I will do a 30 day relationship, and if I see no potential in said relationship, I cut it. Not to say if the sex is amazing I won’t make it longer, I just haven’t found a girl that makes me want to stay for more time.

Suka was the one who helped me progress sexually. Before her the most I had done was simple shirtless make outs. As a matter of fact I had issues with the idea of going down south. We talked about it and agreed it didn’t have to be done, but one lunch time you could say I was in the mood for exploring. To this day I have not found a girl louder than Suka. She could shake the house with how loud she’d get and no wonder she was as tight as they get. Honestly, I’m no Hulk downstairs, I’m about average, but to put it plainly, she was so tight it hurt. But I’m skipping ahead in the story.

See when it is your first time, as it was with mine, you should be spontaneous with it. Don’t plan it out, don’t set it in advance, just get it done. I learnt this from experience, because we planned on a specific day, and it had a lot of hype to it. She came over, we watched a movie and event when watching the movie I was pitching a wicked tent. But movie finished and we headed to my bedroom, and suddenly I started getting nervous, and my ‘salute’ disappeared. I figured I could just warm her up and during that I would be back in action. 5 , 10, 20 minutes go by while I’m in the trenches and my soldier isn’t doing anything. Another problem with Suka was even though I was willing to go down in trenches for her, she never did anything to raise my flag. No polishing, no nothing. So now my soldier is down and I was panicking, I straight up told her he’s asleep, and she would do a thing to wake him up. I rush into the bathroom to try and talk him into making an appearance, but he didn’t listen. To sum up the rest of the night, Suka storms out.

Suka was actually going to be the first girl I attempted to pass my 30 day limit, but we got into a stupid argument, and I said we needed a break. Supposedly I do not understand the meaning of “break” because she took that as a “break-up”. Unfortunately said break-up ended up trashing my name (with other women) for quite some time, which seems to happen with many different break-ups for me.

Sometime goes by, and Suka and I don’t talk, but Diamond’s birthday rolled around and I knew I would be seeing Suka. To make a long story short, booze, bang her in a park. Now to make this case more interesting, though we broke up ages ago I still find myself inviting her over whenever I have had a dry streak. I know some may confuse this with emotional attachment, and don’t get me wrong Suka will always be special to me, but I would never attempt to bring about another relationship with her.